Family and the Challenges of Childhood Behavior: Understanding the Impacts and Building a Balanced Life for Children

Hebah Mohammed – Sawt Al-Amal (Voice of Hope)

Undoubtedly, the family plays a prominent and crucial role in influencing children’s behavior. It is the first environment in which children grow and learn the values and behaviors that will shape their personalities in the future. The family’s influence on children’s behavior extends to all aspects of their lives, from emotional and social development to moral and educational behavior.

In light of the changing social and economic challenges we face today, children encounter significant challenges in their formation and personal development. Societal and economic pressures associated with changes in the family and society greatly affect their behavior. They may become more susceptible to stress and anxiety and drift towards negative behaviors such as violence and crime.

The Importance of Family in Shaping Children’s Behavior

Majida Al-Shuwaitir, president of Childhood’s Friends Society, says: “The family is the first nurturing environment for a child, and from it, they begin to meet their physical, psychological, and emotional needs. It is like the soil in which the seed grows. The child acquires language, behavior, social and moral standards, in addition to role models and ideals in life from the family. Thus, everything they learn from the family stays with them forever. Therefore, the family is a very important social entity in shaping the child’s personality and behavior.”

Regarding the impact of the family environment on the development of values and their impact on the child’s behavior, Al-Shuwaitir explains that through what the child learns, directly or indirectly through imitation, they acquire many things like hobbies, interests, and standards of right and wrong from the family. If the family environment is one in which violence and coercion prevail, this is reflected in their character, the way they deal with others, and other behavioral patterns.

She continues: “Regarding the impact of social and economic stress on children’s behavior, the most important thing that a child must obtain is a sense of security and protection. The absence of this feeling may lead to the emergence of complexes and psychological disorders. A child only needs love and play to grow psychologically and emotionally in a healthy way. The presence of tensions and lack of security in a home full of problems and violence may cause many problems such as slow growth, phobias, nightmares, bedwetting, and sometimes lead to delinquency.”

Al-Shuwaitir believes that raising children is a difficult task, and if parents are unable to bear the responsibility of having children and planning well for their upbringing, then childhood will certainly not be happy. The family’s role is fundamental in building the child’s personality and developing their moral sense towards others. If a child is raised in a family that does not know proper behavior, the child will only learn deviant habits and behaviors.

Al-Shuwaitir believes that when the family reinforces positive values in the child – starting with how parents interact with each other, how the father and mother deal with the child and their siblings, and how the parents interact with the community outside the family, including relatives and neighbors – all of this enables the child to understand the boundaries of right and wrong, what is permissible and what is not, and provides a model through which they can understand the world around them. The family is always the first place where people, both young and old, are nurtured because it is an environment of psychological support above all else.

She pointed out that the emotional support that a child receives from their family helps them grow healthily, as they are given love, attention, and care, which enhances their sense of security, develop their self-confidence, and shape their personality in the future.

Al-Iryani believes that the family’s pattern of social upbringing is a very important matter. The family teaches the child how to interact with society and develops their communication and cooperation skills, helping them become an effective and positive member of the community. Children learn many things by imitating their family members, who serve as their role models.

Al-Iryani stresses, “We cannot overlook the role of dialogue and discussion between parents and children on topics such as life, morals, religion, and how to deal with others. This type of discussion plays a major role in shaping the child’s beliefs and developing their critical thinking. In addition, family and environment play an important role in teaching children about emotions and how to express and manage their feelings healthily, and this greatly affects how they deal with any challenge they face.”

Factors Affecting Children’s Lives

Many factors influence children’s lives and shape their behavior. Psychological specialist, Amani Yahya, states that these factors include the quality of family relationships and the level of emotional communication between family members. If relationships within the family are based on support, affection, and respect, they are likely to have a positive impact on children’s behavior. Conversely, if there is a lack of emotional communication or the presence of conflicts and tensions within the family, this may negatively affect children’s behavior.

She adds, “Upbringing and education play a crucial role in shaping children’s behavior. When they receive a good education and get the support they need to develop their skills, they become better equipped to face challenges and achieve success. It is worth noting that poverty and social marginalization can significantly impact educational opportunities and children’s development.”

Regarding the impact of social and economic tension within the family on a child’s behavior, Al-Iryani says, “There is no doubt that this plays a major role, especially during times of conflict. Many social, security, and economic challenges arise that directly affect the child’s behavior, growth, and development. When economic stress and anxiety become evident within the family, the child cannot help but feel anxious and stressed as well, as they notice their parents preoccupied and worried about meeting life’s needs.”

She continues, “And when disagreements arise within the family due to the economic situation or social differences in general, this causes an unstable environment within the family, and this will certainly affect children’s self-confidence and, consequently, their behavior.”

Samira Al-Shahari, who holds a Ph.D. in psychological counseling, shares her perspective, saying, “From the social and economic impact perspective, bad company and bad friends, problems with studies and truancy, unbalanced relationships such as age and financial status, and other issues like poverty, unemployment, overcrowding at home, lack of recreational facilities, and dysfunctional emotional relationships within the family, are all factors and reasons that lead the child to poor psychological adjustment.”

She emphasized that these factors, whether related to the self or the group, instill a negative impact. Since generalization is unacceptable in psychology, we can say that most of those who have been exposed to and affected by such factors lead socially unhealthy lives. She explained that some overcome these factors and are able to create psychological resilience, adapt to the situation, and continue their lives successfully.

Displaced Children and the Most Significant Challenges

Al-Shuwaitir explained that the experience of displacement is harsh for both adults and children. However, its impact is greater on children because they are the most vulnerable group by nature. Instability and loss of security deprive the child of many things they need and make them face the harshness of life from an early age. This situation shatters the child’s confidence in themselves and those around them, leaving them in a constant state of anxiety due to instability and exhaustion.

She pointed out that parents’ preoccupation with meeting other needs in displacement camps prevents the child from receiving sufficient attention and care. Love and affection are basic feelings that a child needs just as much as food.

Al-Shuwaitir confirms that intertwined social factors such as family disintegration, poverty, domestic violence, lack of role models, school dropout, lack of parental awareness, and unregulated childbearing all lead to children being drawn towards violence and crime. Unfortunately, in our Yemeni society, fathers often encourage their sons towards violence and delinquency, directly or indirectly, especially when they ask them to work, contribute to household expenses, or go out to work at an early age.

Al-Iryani also believes that the forcibly displaced child faces numerous challenges due to various reasons, including traumatic psychological effects and psychological shock, which manifest through recurring nightmares, severe anxiety, and even nail-biting.

She adds, “The displaced child suffers from introversion and withdrawal from life. They feel a sense of loss and separation from their school and friends, which significantly impacts their personality. They suffer from sadness, depression, and emotional instability. This is a significant challenge that affects their sense of security due to constant displacement. They find it difficult to adapt to the new environment and struggle with concentration, feeling anxious and finding it hard to adjust to the new life.”

Al-Iryani also emphasizes that the displaced child lives in extremely difficult living conditions, residing in refugee camps or unhealthy and unsafe shelters. They experience health problems due to the harsh conditions, feel increased stress and anxiety, and face difficulties integrating into the new community they live in due to social discrimination. This is in addition to their sense of rejection, lack of self-confidence, and desire to isolate themselves from the surrounding community.

Strategies for a Balanced Life

Al-Iryani emphasized that there are many strategies families should implement, primarily focusing on love, support, and continuous guidance. Parents must dedicate time to talk to their children and listen to their problems and concerns.

She pointed out, “It’s crucial to talk to the child and allow them to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or punishment from their parents. Open and continuous communication with the child is very important, and it’s a strategy that improves the child’s behavior. Additionally, daily family interaction teaches the child how to solve their problems and deal with others.”

She continues, “Family attitudes play a significant role in educating the child and influence their beliefs, values, interactions with people, honesty, and ethics. In addition to religious commitment, all these things play a major role in shaping the child’s personality through the attitudes and culture of the family, which work to shape the child’s identity and values.”

Al-Shahari stressed that providing psychological care to the child in all aspects of their life, helping them solve their problems, and transitioning them from a dependent child to an independent, self-reliant, and psychologically well-adjusted individual, creates a balanced life for them.

She adds, “In a healthy family, the child is far from psychological disorders and able to deal with life’s circumstances and difficulties. They possess psychological resilience to adapt to reality with all its influences. They are not prone to delinquency but can achieve self-actualization by utilizing their maximum capabilities and potential.”

Children Who Defied Violence and Pain

Lamia Al-Iryani shared some real-life stories of Yemeni children who have been subjected to violence and difficult living conditions, which she encountered during her work as the former Secretary-General of the Supreme Council for Motherhood and Childhood.

Lamia says, “In a country ravaged by conflict, a child named Abdul-Rahman grew up in harsh circumstances. The area where he lived lacked the most basic services, especially education. However, Abdul-Rahman did not give up. Thanks to his determination and hope for a better future, he benefited from alternative education programs provided by some civil society organizations in Yemen. Abdul-Rahman’s educational level improved significantly, and he started achieving excellent results in exams. This success was not just numbers on paper but was the door that opened up the opportunity for him to continue his education in schools, which led to an astounding improvement in his educational level.”

She continues, “Abdul-Rahman was not the only child who faced numerous difficulties. There was another child, orphaned after his mother passed away, who lived with his aunt, who constantly abused him. This child, who came from a very poor family, did not lose hope. He would go out to the streets to sell balloons and other simple things, and he would always contact me asking for books, school uniforms, and notebooks.”

She adds, “Through Shawdab Foundation for Childhood and Development, which I established at the beginning of the millennium, we were meeting this child’s educational needs. Despite the violence he faced from his stepmother, he insisted on continuing his education. Thanks to his ambition and strong will, he completed his education and entered university. Today, he works as an accountant in a private institution and has been able to achieve this success with determination and strong faith.”

The more stable and secure the environment, the more positive the child’s behavior. Encouragement, support, and reward are among the effective strategies and constant rules for regulating a child’s behavior and promoting positive activities and social interaction. Additionally, engaging in sports, arts, and music all contribute to improving children’s behavior and guiding them toward a brighter future.